life

3 Reasons Why Losing My Dream Job Was the Best Thing to Happen and How to Begin Again

April 26, 2021 2 Comments

I’ve tried writing about losing my dream job many times over the past few months. I get a few sentences in and stop and forget about writing it. Here’s the truth: I lost my dream job. I lost the path I had made for myself since graduating high school. Go to college. Become a teacher. Work in this district. And I lost it.

I truly spend months grasping at straws trying to fix the pieces I felt I lost. Losing my dream job was one thing, but I felt like I lost a part of myself in the process. A year out from losing my job I’ve been able to reflect and process everything and I’ve learned and grown throughout this process- that’s what life is all about!

I’ve learned so much the past year about myself, change, growth, and what truly matters to me. Throughout any loss, there is a period of grief, followed by acceptance, and then being able to move on. That’s exactly what I did! I’m going to tell you 3 things I learned and how I used those lessons to begin again.

Why Losing My Dream Job Was The Best Thing to Happen

1. My Identity is No Longer Rooted in My Job – Using Affirmations

I thought my whole purpose was to be a teacher in this district. I was going to move back to my hometown and teach in this district because it was the best in the state. And I did that. I would fill my classroom with kindness and playfulness, respecting children’s thoughts and feelings, and being the teacher whose gentle nature was spot on.

Little did I know that my kindness and gentle nature would be my downfall. I was too kind to teach in this district. I was too gentle and needed to be more strict. Everything I valued and loved about myself as a teacher was wrong and I didn’t know what to do.

To be fair, for a while I coped by turning those criticisms into a joke. That helped short term but I was needing a long-term solution. Before this job, I loved how kind and gentle I was. After losing this job I hated that about me. Now I’ve turned it into my strength.

kayla coffee chats | losing my dream job

This job turned something I loved about myself into something I hated and I wanted to love that part of myself again. That’s when I turned to affirmations. I wanted to affirm those pieces of my that I loved. I was no longer too kind to others. Instead, I began telling myself, “My kindness is what draws others to me and is a gift I share with the world.”

Changing the way I viewed what was “broken” in me made me realize it is one of my biggest strengths.

2. While My Path Led to This School, it also Led Away from it

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, that there is a purpose for everything. While I was so focused on achieving this one goal, I wasn’t really looking big-picture at what my life could be during or after it. Teaching was the end goal…so I thought.

When the storm started rushing through my life I thought everything was over. I felt so defeated- like nothing was ever going to go right again. And then life went on. Not all storms come in to disrupt our life, sometimes they come in to clear a path.

Clearing a path it did. Some doors were closed, but so many opened up. For the first time in a long time, I could do whatever I wanted (within reason). I tried a lot of different things. Failed at a lot of different things. Took some courses and found a path that would help give me the life and freedom I desired.

As sad as I was to let this dream go, failing at that dream has opened my world to so many more opportunities. Even though life gets hard, there is always a rainbow on the other side.

3. I Created New Dreams and Visions for My Life That Aren’t Rooted in a Job

Moving on is hard. Letting go is hard. But it is all part of the great joys of life. Losing one dream didn’t mean I was a failure. It meant I was on the wrong path.

I’ve taken time this past year to really deep dive and figure out what I truly want from life. None of what I desire from life is rooted in a job. Your dreams and desires don’t have to be rooted in a job. Having a job plays a part, but it is, and will never be, the end all be all.

I want to live a life that inspires others to be kind. A life that is full of freedom from a 9-5 job. I want a life that is rooted in family. I want to help others find that kindness and peace within them to live an intentionally peaceful life. No more stretching yourself too thin. No more sticking in a job that drains you more than it fills you.

Teaching is a hard job y’all. I knew it was going to be hard, but it was 100 times harder than I anticipated. There are a lot of factors at play in that, but I know now that there are so many other ways I can use my gifts to serve the world.

Living Intentionally Peaceful

Change is scary. For someone who is really flexible, unknown change was terrifying. But I made it out, and I made it out a whole different person. I’m owning my kindness. I’m owning mistakes I’ve made in the past because they got me to be here. Just as your mistakes got you here and made you the person you are.

Come on my journey with me as I help you lead a life that is intentionally peaceful. I am most active on Instagram, but you can also follow my Facebook page.

Let me know in the comments, what is your life vision?

26 Things I’ve Learned in 26 Years

March 1, 2021 Leave a Comment

Birthdays are a great time for reflection. It is another built-in time throughout the year where you can reflect on your previous 365 days around the sun. I’ve compiled a list of 26 things I’ve learned so far in life. I’ve learned more than just these 26, but these are great ones to share.

As we go through life we are given opportunities to grow and develop constantly. We learn lessons along the way. They influence how we act, solve new problems, and think about ourselves. Here are 26 things I’ve learned in my 26 trips around the sun.

Be kind to others
This is the hill I will die on. You can never be too kind to others. Sometimes doing a kind deed or saying a kind word changes someone’s whole day and might be just what they need to keep going. Be kind. Kind to yourself and to others.
Spend the money
It is okay to spend money. It is also okay to save your money. There are times though where it is much better to splurge on the trip or getting something new. Quality items cost more. We can’t take money with us when we die.
Smile
I’m sure you’ve seen the fact that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. Spend more time smiling at strangers. Smiling with your family. Smiling with your friends. Smiles are contagious. The more you smile, the happier you’ll be.
Drink the extra cup of coffee
Just my personal preference, but I’ve never regretted drinking an extra cup (or two) of coffee. Call me Loreli Gilmore because I would take coffee in an IV if I could.
People don’t think or talk about you as much as you think
Those preteen-teenage years are full of worry and thinking more about what others think than what you actually think. Once you get out of high school you realize it doesn’t matter. People are more concerned about themselves.
Dogs are better than cats
Dogs are superior. Prove me wrong.
Failure is a part of life
As a perfectionist failure isn’t fun. I like things to line up and fall together nicely. Life doesn’t work like that. And it isn’t supposed to! If everything worked out perfectly I wouldn’t have this list to write you. Failure is where we learn and grow.
Family matters
Family is important. 9 times out of 10 I drop what I’m doing with my nieces and nephew’s call. A minor inconvenience for me is making their day and it is so worth it. I don’t always enjoy playing Roblox, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Reach out to your friends
This goes hand in hand with my last point. Friends can also be your family. As much as I love spending time with my family, reaching out and connecting with your friends is equally important. Even if it is a little text to tell them how much you appreciate them. A little goes a long way.
You can’t live your life defined by other expectations
Read that again. Other’s expectations have no chain on your life. Don’t compare your timeline to your friends or even a stranger on the internet. Everyone is on their own path and comparing yourself to others and letting that comparison define your day is doing you more harm than good.
Don’t lower your standards
For anything. Don’t lower them for a job. For a relationship. Or for a friend. You have your standards for a reason and the right people will meet or even exceed your standards. Keep your standards high.
Always keep track of your money when you are traveling
This one is kind of silly and also serious. I misplaced my wallet changing gates once. Thankfully I have great friends who paid for me on the trip and nice parents to overnighted my passport to my hotel so I could get home. I was lucky this time but it isn’t always that easy.

Looking for fun places to travel? Look here!
Not everyone will like you and you won’t like everyone
This has been a hard one for me because I want to see the good in everyone- I usually do! There are a handful of people that in my gut I know they are bad news. Trust your gut. But also know others will feel that way about you. It’s a blessing in disguise.
Your dream can and should change
Rapunzel’s dream was to see the lights. She saw them and her dream changed. Sometimes, we don’t get to see the lights. Our dream changes on the journey to the lights. It might not always be fun to realize you have a different dream but the journey is more important than the destination.
Your worth is not defined by others
Read it again. Write it down. Speak it onto yourself. Your worth is not defined by others. You decide your worth. Not opinions from when you were a child. Not opinions from coworkers or your boss. You, only you, decide your worth.
Karma works in both directions
When you do good, good things happen to you. When you do bad, bad things happen. Karma works both ways. Spend your time doing more good.
Take time to play with a child
This is coming from my early childhood background but we can learn so much from sitting down and playing with a child for 5 minutes. Children have a beautiful view of the world and we need more of it.

You can read more about my philosophy on education here.
Life is not about always being in a relationship with someone else
It might be a cliché to say you are working on yourself. Sometimes you need to get true about who you are, your boundaries, and how you want to live life before you can be with someone else. Enjoy the time you have without a significant other.
Find something to be grateful for every day
Gratitude is a gamechanger for your mindset. When you live life being grateful for the opportunities in front of you, you will see more great things in life. Start each day with a grateful heart.
Nobody knows what they are doing – we all make it up as we go along
I remember being young and thinking when I was 16 I would know all these things. And when I was 16 I thought when I got to college I would be living this crazy perfect life. Then in college, I thought once I got a job I would have it all figured out. And now I am 26 and don’t have it figured out. I find comfort in knowing that nobody does.
You don’t need to drink to have a good time
As a 26-year-old, I’ve had a few sips of alcohol. I’ve never been drunk. Never gone out drinking. I’ve never purchased any alcohol. Some of you may roll your eyes at those sentences, and that’s fine. But you don’t need to spend your money and get drunk to have a good time. You can if you want to, but it isn’t necessary. It can be a slippery slope when you start drinking regularly.
A Netflix binge is always a good idea
I mean, get your main things out of the way but if you need a day to binge Bridgerton. Do it. There is nothing wrong with spending a day being lazy. Sometimes we need it.
If someone is pressuring you to do something you are uncomfortable with – they are just using you
I am a creature of comfort, almost to a fault, but I like being comfortable and do things that are in my realm of comfort. However, if people, coworkers, friends, significant others, family members are pressuring you and you don’t feel comfortable with it you can do something about it.

Voice that feeling. But if they continue pushing it, find an opportunity to step away from it. People who matter will care about what you are feeling and thinking. People who are in it for themselves, won’t care about your thoughts and feelings.
Your “dream job” is just a job
Y’all. This needs a post of its own because it has been one of the most recent things I’ve learned. My “dream job” turned into a nightmare and made me realize as much as I wanted that job, it was just a job. Life goes on and I can create a “dream job” that is perfect for me. Don’t focus so hard on your dream job when there are great things and people around you to love on.
Life is about people and experiences – not things
This goes back to spending money. Now you can spend money on things, clothes, makeup, etc. OR you can spend money on experiences with people in your life. Still, be money conscious but spend more time and money creating experiences instead of having an “Instagram” perfect life.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish
Self-care is looked down upon for some reason. Saying no to things you don’t have time for, or aren’t important to you is okay. You need to take care of yourself so that you can show up for the world in the best way.

There you have it! 26 things I’ve learned in 26 years. I hope your main takeaway is treating yourself and others with kindness and respect. You can never be too kind to others.

What’s one of life’s lessons that you have learned? Let me know in the comments! Or follow me on Instagram and let me know there!

For your pinning pleasure:

2020 Reading List

March 23, 2020 Leave a Comment

OKAY. I had all the intentions of posting this in December/January….but now it is almost April and I’ve yet to start. Better late than never, right?

One of my resolutions is to read more in 2020. I have compiled a list of all of the books I want to read in the next 12 months. I’ll update with links to my book reviews.

This post contains affiliate links. You can see my disclosure policy here.

Here is my 2020 reading list:

Books to Read

Scythe Series by Neil Shusterman

The Scythe series was recommended through a youtube video. I’ve read one other Shusterman book, about 4 years ago. He has interesting way of telling stories. This dystopian series is about 3 people being trained to be scythes, the only ones who can end life. In their future the world is peaceful; there is no hunger, no war, no misery. They are being trained with different mindsets of who “deserves” to die to keep humanity going.

An Italian Adventure by Gaia B. Amman

This series is about a girl growing up in Italy. You follow Leda through her childhood in the first and second books and teens into the third book. Along the way she meets a new boy from Southern Italy named Nico and the series takes off from there.

Tell Me Three Things by Julie Buxbaum

Tell Me Three Things is a YA novel that follows a girl, Jessie, in her junior year of high school. She is forced to move across the country and begins receiving anonymous messages from someone trying to help her transition into a new school.

Insignificant Events in the Life of a Cactus by Dusti Bowling

The Insignificant Events in the Life of a Cactus is similar to Wonder. It is about a child learning and cope with the hardships that come with looking different. Aven has no arms and although she has positive and supportive parents, kids at school aren’t. She meets another character and the bond throughout the story.

Squint by Chad Morris and Shelly Brown

Squint is about a boy who is starting to go blind. While he still has is vision he wants to finish his comic book. He becomes friends with the new girl who is afraid to be seen with the kid that squints.

I hope your resolutions are going better than mine! And if you are in the same boat as me, it is never too late to start!

Life Update – Teachers Pay Teachers!

June 20, 2019 Leave a Comment

Life update! It has been a while since I have posted last! This past school year took all my time and energy and honestly, I didn’t feel like writing. However, now that it is summer I am getting an itch to write and will hopefully get in a routine with my writing so when school starts I won’t drop the ball. We’ll see what happens though!

Those of you who have been around for a while may know that I was in an intervention spot for the 18-19 school year. Life update! This next school year I will be a kindergarten teacher and I could not be more excited!

I have been out of school for two weeks and cannot wait to get back! That being said, (life update!) I have opened up my own Teachers Pay Teachers store! As you’ll see closer to the school year with a classroom reveal, I have made quite a few different things for my classroom that I wanted to share!

Right now I have these 7 Habits posters out for FREE on my teachers pay teachers store! The come with and without the foliage.

My school is a Leader in Me School meaning we implement the use of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People as a school wide management plan. You can read my other management posts here! We are all required to post the 7 habits in our room, I wanted something a little toned down to fit with me decor.

Tag me @kaylacoffeechats if you use these in your classroom!

What tools and resources do you take off of Teachers Pay Teachers? What do you want to see from me? Let me know in the comments!

**This post contains affiliate links. You can read my disclosure policy here.**

Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019!

December 26, 2018 Leave a Comment

Goodbye 2018

Hello 2019! I don’t know about you, but this year seemed to FLY by. Like every other year, 2018 had its ups and downs. I have grown individually as well as professionally. 2018 led to some wonderful trips, new music, and big changes.

The last few weeks of the year I always take time to reflect on the past 365 days and look ahead to the next 365!

2018 was the year of concerts.

February: Grace Vanderwall – In Denver, Colorado
May: Colorado Symphony and Taylor Swift – Both in Denver, Colorado
July: Libera – In San Antonia, Texas
August: Ed Sheeran – although with a job change, this concert was not possible to attend.
November: Vienna Boy’s Choir – In Cheyenne, Wyoming
Let’s not forget high school, college, and community concerts sprinkled in all throughout the year!

Lots of music in 2018 = Lots of memories in 2018. 🙂

Scroll through the pictures below to see a few of my concert memories.

Always. ALWAYS keep track of your wallet/purse. ESPECIALLY in an airport.
Be thankful for friends who lend you money when you lose yours…and parents who ship a different ID to your hotel overnight so you can fly back home.
What people say behind your back is a reflection of them, not you. As Taylor Swift once said, “Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.”
Sometimes, taking a big, scary risk is necessary to get you to a happier place.
Kindness matters. Be kind to everyone you see, you never know what battle they are fighting.
Hard work pays off. You may not get the recognition, but it is noticed.
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. When you react with pessimism, you are surrounded by stress and negative emotions. When you react with optimism, you are surrounded by happiness and positivity.
Take it one day at a time and enjoy every little moment that comes your way.
Believe in yourself. Trust yourself. Take care of yourself.
Just because you say something, doesn’t mean it is true. Actions speak louder than words.

Hello 2019

2019. The year of unknown. This time last year I had many different trips planned, concerts to see, things I was going to do. Right now I have none of it planned. I don’t know what my job outlook looks like at the end of the school year, if I need to plan for a summer job, or if there are any trips to plan on.

Right now, I am just living in the moment. Trying my best with what I can control and not worrying about the rest.

I am excited to see what the future has in store for me in 2019…even though I don’t feel prepared for it..

Goals for 2019

Read at least one book a month.
This past year I haven’t read…like at all. I want to get back into the joy of reading for enjoyment…and work sometimes.
Stick to my budget.
2018 left me in a small money crunch. With a new job with better pay I have been a bit more lenient with my money, while saving quite a bit of it as well. I hope this year I am more comfortable with my money and can stick to a budget.
Stretch every day.
I had typed “workout” buuut knowing me, that wouldn’t happen. Working out is not in the cards for me. Stretching however, still keeps me fit and can incorporate a my daily mindful mediation.

I hope you all have a great start to you new year! Check back here every week for a new post! Better yet! Enter your email to subscribe to my blog so you never miss a post! 😄